Movie Review: The Orphanage

Going into this movie, I knew a couple of things: Guillermo del Toro likes it a lot and put his name on the film. del Toro has done some fantastic stuff (Devil's Backbone, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth) and he's done some pretty neat stuff (Cronos, Hellboy) so that had me a little excited. Another thing I knew was that a lot of people enjoyed this flick. When I say "a lot of people," I'm not referring to a dude that just got done repairing the axel on his Camaro. I'm also not talking about the girl who just finished a major purchase at Linens & Things. No, I'm talking about a certain circle of people that watch movies just like this because they know it's going to be better than watching Fool's Gold with electrodes attached to your nipples. Some call them "nerds," but because I feel like I'm part of this circle, I'll call us "semi-nerds."

Back to the movie at hand, though. I'm going to give you a statement and then try to back it up through this review: THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST HORROR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS, IF NOT MY ENTIRE LIFE.

We start with a few children playing a game at an (gasp!) ORPHANAGE. Fast forward years later and we're introduced to Laura, Carlos and their son Simon. All three have a very loving bond, especially Laura and her son, and it seems that life is good. Well, life IS good until an old lady shows up at their doorstep. She claims to be a social worker and wants to discuss Simon. Turns out Simon is adopted. Also turns out Simon has HIV. Yikes. The social worker irks Laura so she sends her packing. Later in the night, Laura is woken up by sounds out in the old wood shed. She decides to poke around before finding (gasp!) the social worker hiding out with a shovel in her hand! She runs off and before you can say "call the cops even though they won't solve anything because in the movies, cops never amount to a hill of beans but you need more supplemental characters," the cops are called and all is good. Well, until a boy shows up at a party wearing a bag over his head and Simon vanishes into thin air...

I could spoil the entire movie for you but take my word for it, this movie is fantastic. It excels at being creepy, atmospheric, lightly funny, touching, tragic, suspenseful... You name a feeling in this movie, it nails it. Juan Antonio Bayona (by the way, FIRST TIME DIRECTOR) has a way with his films. He drags you in and won't let you out. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy makes an award-winning picture soon, he's that good. The actors are all fantastic, especially Belen Rueda as the loving mother who can't rest until her son is found. Solid script, fantastic locations, bold colors... I loved it, that's all there is to say.

I recommend this for people who want to scare the crap out of someone else or for people who need a great supernatural film in their lives. I give it 4 BANGS FOR YOUR BUCKS. Also as an aside, this is a Spanish film so you will have to read subtitles. If you're a "semi-nerd," this shouldn't be an issue. If you're not... Well, sorry.